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The Player Who Killed His Mother

by Padraig Parkinson |  Published: Mar 01, 2011

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You have to be Irish to watch the Irish soccer team in action. It’s pretty grim stuff and that’s putting it mildly. Things could be better if Stephen Ireland would play for us but he won’t. He used to, but got pissed off because some of his team mates had a bit of a laugh about him being follically challenged, which in football circles is considered very funny indeed. That explains quite a lot. The team were on tour one time and Mr. Ireland went home telling everyone his grandmother had died. A journalist checked this story out and found that the grandmother in question was in excellent shape for a dead person. So much so that she might have got a game for Ireland herself as a holding midfielder, especially if she promised not to cross the halfway line. When confronted by the press Mr. Ireland did confirm that ...


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