Third-Place Finishes

For the past few years, I have worked very hard at improving my poker game. I have asked for advice, read books, tried many things, and watched the very good players on TV. Most of the good players try to focus, but it may be a little harder to do when the cameras are filming and they know people are watching and studying every move they make. Some players adjust their game for TV. At times they may make a call that they typically wouldn't make, or provide a reverse tell so that everyone will think they are easily readable. One thing I noticed while watching the World Poker Tour was that Phil Ivey sure made lots of television appearances during the year, and he always had a focused look in his eyes. In fact, the broadcasters talked about it often, and even referred to him as the Tiger Woods of poker.

I figured the comparison was close, except Tiger doesn't finish second or third as much as Phil does. Tiger Woods is a finisher. Having said that, at least Phil makes final tables, while I have to watch him on TV. Both players are at the top of their fields. The difference, of course, is that I can't play golf with Tiger Woods, and on my best day of golf (I am the worst), I could never play as well as his worst. In poker, anyone can play with the best players. You can either pony up the cash and play in a big live game (which was portrayed in the movie Rounders when Matt Damon played a few hands with Johnny Chan) or play in a tournament. This is the beauty of poker, and the reason why I originally liked it. If I won a satellite, I had the opportunity to play with Scotty Nguyen, Phil Hellmuth, or even Doyle Brunson.

OK, I've gotten a bit sidetracked, so I'll get back to the point of this column. I was playing in the California State Poker Championship at Commerce Casino (Chip Jett won) recently and Phil Ivey showed up at my table. I know he is a good player and I wanted to work on my focus; I wanted to be like Phil! For three minutes I didn't say a word to anyone. I'll bet Phil has never lasted that long. I looked up and Phil was getting a long massage. I know Phil has had a very successful year or two, because he is always on TV and getting third place. For some reason, I lost my focus and started thinking that if I got third-place finishes all the time and made several television appearances, I could afford long massages at the table. Finally, it looked like the masseuse was about to get arthritis from massaging Phil for so long, and she made some excuse for why she had to leave.

Phil looked for some cash and realized that he was short. He then distracted me from my focus and asked me for $100 to pay the masseuse. Now, I don't usually lend money, but Phil is always on TV and must have a few Benjamins in his bank account. I told him that maybe he should have gotten a 30-minute massage because that was more in his price range. Anyhow, he busted out of the tournament and I haven't seen him since. I tried calling two cell phone numbers that he has had, and both are out of service. Now this column may make some sense to you. I am using this magazine to help me collect $100 from Phil Ivey. Stop hiding, Phil. It is time to pay the piper!