Questions and Answers

Although we tend to keep a low profile most of the time, thanks to television, people recognize my wife, Olga, and me in many places we go, especially in casino cardrooms. Over the past few years, people have approached us with a fascinating array of interesting questions and statements. Remember, there's no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid answers, and here are some of my most memorable.

Question: Are you that poker player?

Answer: No, that's my evil twin brother.

Statement: I know who you are. You're Chris Moneymaker from the Travel Channel.

reply: You're close; I'm Varkonyi from the ESPN channel. We're often mistaken for brothers.

Q: Are you the accountant?

A: No, that's Chris Moneymaker, who won the World Series of Poker in 2003.

Q: Are you the lawyer?

A: No, that's Greg Raymer, aka Fossilman, who won the WSOP in 2004.

Q: Are you an investment banker?

A: No, but would you like to buy a bridge in Brooklyn?

Q: Did you pack up your family and move to Las Vegas?

A: No, but I may retire there one day.

S: Las Vegas has a dry heat.

r: That won't help when you find my dehydrated body stuck to the melting crosswalk in the summer heat.

Q: Does the guy whose head you shaved still play poker?

A: Yes, that's what I heard.

Q: Which player do you most fear?

A: My wife, Olga. She's got more moves than a Texas rattlesnake, and I mean that in the nicest way.

Q: Are you and your wife full-time players?

A: No, we're not. We play poker every chance we get and try to make it to a few major tournaments each year.

Q: Did you and your wife meet through poker?

A: Yes, I won her in a poker game.

Q: Do you always play Q-10?

A: No, that hand has to be played with the utmost delicacy, and getting lucky doesn't hurt, either.

Q: Are you broke?

A: No, but I could go broke by buying every new poker book out there.

Q: Is [fill in the name of your favorite poker player] broke?

A: Do I look like his accountant?

Q: Do you play in the "big game"?

A: Yes, I've done well in the stock market.

Q: Is tournament no-limit hold'em your favorite game?

A: Does hours of boredom broken up by moments of sheer terror sound like fun?

Q: What's your favorite casino poker game?

A: Stud eight-or-better.

Q: What's your favorite home poker game?

A: Anaconda 3-2-1, also known as Pass the Trash.

Q: How did you get started in poker?

A: Just like everyone else. I got my start with strip poker in college, right?

Q: Television Release Form: Sex .

A: Yes.

Robert is the 2002 World Series of Poker champion and the instructor on the WiseGuys on Texas Hold'em videos, starring some famous actors from the Sopranos.