The Blarney Stone

I just returned from a week of vacationing, poker playing, and fishing in Ireland. I know you are concerned about my safety, what with all the bombs and unpleasantness of the ongoing hostilities in Northern Ireland – but there is no war or rebellion in the southern part of Ireland, where my wife, Carol, daughter Sarah, and I were vacationing.

The Irish are very friendly, nice, and cooperative, and they like to talk – and so do I. So, the week we spent talking, fishing, and sightseeing in Ireland was one of the best times of our lives. The grass, trees, streams, brooks, and countryside are so colorful and picturesque. The weather was perfect, with just a mist now and then and a soft sea breeze blowing all the time. I did not want to leave Ireland and return home, but I had to come back to tell you all about it.

Most of you know that I like to tell a story now and then, and that I like to say a word or two as I play a few hands of poker. Well, as some of you know, 93 percent of everything I tell you is true, and if I tell you it's going to rain, you should get a bucket, 'cause you are going to catch some water because I am going to squeeze a cloud.

You all have seen the 007 movies with James Bond, and know about his licence to kill – well, I now have a licence to tell tall tales and embellish them with slight exaggerations.

I Have Kissed the Blarney Stone

Yes, it's true that I went to the Blarney Castle in Blarney, Ireland. I climbed up 200-plus steps to the top ramparts of the Blarney Castle, leaned out into space upside down on my back, and smacked the Blarney Stone – not once, but a couple of times just for luck.

The present-day Blarney Castle, incorporating an earlier structure from the mid-15th century, was built during the tenure of Sir Cormac Teigue McCarthy in the years 1550-1583. In 1702, years after the castle and grounds were confiscated from the McCarthys by the Crown, the castle was sold to Sir Richard Pine, and in the following year it was sold to Sir John Jefferys. The castle is currently owned by the Colthurst family, descendants of Sir James Jefferys.

The town of Blarney Island, where the Blarney Stone is located, is a meeting place of rivers. The Martin River flows down from the north to join the Blarney River on the grounds of Blarney Castle.

There are various versions of how the word "blarney" came into the English language. One version states that Queen Elizabeth I wished to tighten her control on the Irish chiefs, and insisted that they hold their land under legal tenure from the queen. The Lord of Blarney, Cormac McCarthy, evidently had no intention of agreeing to the demands of the queen, but never said so directly to her, as he must have realized the danger in openly opposing her. Each time that the queen demanded his loyalty, he professed it to her as a subject, concealing his real feelings. Nevertheless, eventually the queen lost patience and declared, "This is all Blarney; he never means what he says and never does what he promises." The word blarney is really defined as persuasive talk designed to deceive but not to offend.

So, to all of you who play poker with me, you are advised that I now have a license (because I kissed the Blarney Stone) to talk at length, conceal my real feelings, and use persuasive talk when I am playing a hand of poker with you. But remember, I promise that 93 percent of everything I say will be true. Until next time, stay lucky.

Editor's note: "Oklahoma Johnny" Hale is the author of Gentleman Gambler, available through Card Player, and the creator of the Seniors Charities and the Seniors World Championship of Poker. You can visit his website at www.SeniorPoker.com.