I recently read a thread on RGP (rec.gambling.poker) about some of the funniest and most interesting things people have witnessed at the poker table. I asked players to send in their stories and I received many replies. I will share some of them with you in this column. These stories are told in the players' own words.
The first story comes from Bill (BBX) Gouvalaris:
I was playing in the Omaha eight-or-better event during the recent World Poker Finals, and they were paying 30 places. There were 31 people left, including me, when I proceeded to have a heart attack right there at the table. I decided to wait until one player got knocked out before going to the hospital. I stayed not for the money, but for the principle; I had worked too hard to quit at 31, and would have hated myself in the morning if I had quit. Anyway, a player got knocked out and I was rushed to the hospital.
The doctor confirmed that I was having a heart attack and admitted me to the hospital. The next day, I had another heart attack, and they fixed that one, too. Five days later, after angioplasty, I was released with a warning to "take it easy."
I tried to follow this advice, but the H.O.S.E. tournament was two weeks later and I had been waiting months to play in it. I didn't think I would last long, so I bought in. Thirteen hours later, there were five of us left and I was the chip leader. Meanwhile, my body was not holding up well. My chest hurt and I could barely see the cards. I was dizzy and starting to hallucinate. In short, I was in trouble.
Someone said, "Hey, how about some sort of a chop?" This was music to my ears. "Yes," I agreed, "as long as I get a little more, as I am the chip leader." We negotiated a five-way split, then played for the title. I played fast and loose, hoping to end it as soon as possible. My official final position was third. In closing, I must say that the four players I chopped with were four of the toughest players I have ever played against. Without a chop, we might have played all night, and I probably would have been dead by now!
The next two stories come from "Basketball" Sam Davis:
1. Many years ago in Gardena, a $10-draw player went broke and asked the floorman to hold his seat. He was gone for about an hour, and came back with a paper sack full of money. About an hour and a half later, two police officers walked in and arrested him. He had robbed a 7-Eleven in his own neighborhood without wearing a mask, and the clerk knew he played cards in Gardena.
2. This happened in a $1-$2 draw game in Gardena. Two young first-time players sat down together. On the first hand, one of them opened and the other called. Everyone else folded. (Remember, you must have jacks or better to open.) They both drew three. After the draw, they both sat there looking at each other. Just to get the opener to move along, I hit the table and said, "Jacks!" Both of them threw their hands away.
Now, let's play poker!