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Oh me oh my

by Phil Hellmuth |  Published: Sep 24, '08

Posted: September 24, 2008 07:47 AM

Oh me oh my despair again: I care too much! Phil is a Jerk!

I played some amazing poker for many hours on Day Two of the WSOPE HORSE tournament. In the first two hours, I was card dead and I may have only entered six pots! But I preserved my chips, and "Treaded water" (which is a lot better than drowning!). After playing today it dawned on me that there just aren't that many players in the world that play HORSE well, and even fewer that play HORSE tournaments well. Am I the best HORSE tournament player? No, but after the last two results I had (third in WSOP field of 800, and about 12th tonight), and watching so many "Great players" play tournament HORSE poorly, I feel like I'm in the top ten. Not top ten side game HORSE players, but top ten tournament HORSE players. Time will tell. Most of the top players would dispute that I'm top ten. Again, time will tell.

Meanwhile, I know that I seemed to be a little bit unlucky as I climbed in chips. A concept that some people do not understand, and they might ask, "How can you be unlucky when you are moving up in chips?" Simply put: if you're a big favorite every pot and you lose 60% of them, then you will move up in chips anyway. With 18 players left I was one of the chip leaders, but when I lost in stud with (8-8) 8 to (K-7) 7, he hit (A-K-K!), I seemed to lose quite a few pots from then on. Also, from then on I was way too negative, and the internet reported that I made a dealer cry! Well, I don't think so, but it is possible. I told the dealer, "I'm not mad at you, but you need to release the deck before you cut the cards, every time!" [Releasing the deck prevents stacking the deck.] I told her to do it again and again, and for the record I tell every dealer the same thing. But I was aggravated, agitated, frustrated, emotional, and negative, and maybe she did take it personally. I lost almost $100,000 in chips in the last hour, and then on my final hand-with one minute left on the clock for Day two--for the first time in two days I was all in with A-K in Hold'em vs 3-3, and the cards came off like this K-Q-J-6-3! For sure I was out of line with the floor people, and probably the dealer, and I need to apologize, and I pledge to bring them all bottles of Dom Perignon tonight when I come in to play the Pot Limit Omaha tournament.

After that brutal three came off of the deck on the last card to eliminate me, I collapsed onto a side table, and I didn't move for 25 minutes. I was in pain, and I was almost ready to cry. I even started thinking thoughts like, "Let someone try and rob me right now on the way back to my hotel!" Sick, sick thought, of course I didn't want to be robbed and get into a fight. Whilst totally distraught, I called my wife and told her, "Honey this isn't right! There is despair in my heart right now, and I should never feel like this because of a poker tournament." Still, there it was, despair, pain, frustration, possibly brought on by the total exhaustion of playing 12 plus hours in a tournament that I really wanted to win badly (to show my fellow pros that I can play all of the games at a world class level WHEN I put my mind to it). My wife talked me back into a more reasonable state (or did I do all the venting), and then Mike Matusow called me knowing that I had to be super upset with all that had happened. I guess I'm sick because I want to win so much that it hurts when I don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Learn more about Phil by going to his website, and visit his Web store at

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