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The Queen, Barack Obama and Irish Poker

by Padraig Parkinson |  Published: Jun 08, '11


Check out Padraig’s 888 twitter stream at the WSOP for more.

For weeks the Irish were getting fed with all the security talk.

First it was the Queen. Why would we want to shoot her? She’s just quite a nice old lady who likes race horses and holidays. If she was a drunk as well she’d fit in just fine.

We’ve got lots of our own that deserve shooting before we go international: politicians, property developers, bankers and, of course, poker dealers. Just for a start.

Anyway, before you start kicking people out of the game you should always look to see who’s top of the list. That lad with the sticky out ears who spends half his time talking to plants and needs to hire a guy to put toothpaste on his toothbrush is hardly an upgrade.

Then it was Obama. What a fuss.

Secret service guys everywhere in a total panic. Why would we want to shoot a guy who can caress a pint of the black stuff like he was born with one in his hand?

The secret service thought they’d covered all the angles but they hadn’t because as Obama spoke in Dublin, Irish poker players watched their TV sets in horror.

Standing right behind the president was none other than Irish tournament director Dave O’Neill.

How could this have happened? About 18 months ago, Dave was almost assassinated himself at an Irish tournament when one of the spectators attacked him. He was taken to hospital and for a while things looked very serious.

The doctors diagnosed concussion and probable long-term brain damage. They brightened up however when it was explained to them that Dave mumbled incoherently at the best of times and any brain damage he was suffering from was most probably a pre-existing condition.

Anyway there was Dave, head nicely polished for the occasion, standing behind the leader of the Free World.

Dave’s assailant is still at large and we were terrified he’d have another go and possibly take out Obama accidentally. We all prayed that Obama would shut up and get the hell out of there so we could happily travel to the WSOP without any hassle from homeland security.

Thankfully he did.

Padraig is currently involved with Jesse May in hosting Irish Pub Poker Tours for medium-sized corporate groups. For info you can contact him on Twitter @padraigpoker.

Any views or opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the ownership or management of


over 10 years ago

Fabulous stuff. What a fun read this was!


over 10 years ago

> Dave's assailant is still at large...

I hope they find her.

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