Poker: The Stuff Divorces Are Made Of
by dtools22 | Published Apr 18, 2012
Spending a lot of time in the casino you tend to see the same types of people. There are the guy who’re doing the same thing you are, putting in hours upon hours at the tables. You’ll see the “after work crowd” who like to come to the casino to get drunk during happy hour rather than head to the bar across the street from the office. My personal favorite is the couple. Yes the couple, usually consisting of a guy who is very into poker and a woman who is very into her man. Together they make for endless entertainment, and just to illustrate my point I brought some examples with me to share.
Couple number one is more or less the cookie cutter example of what you’ll see. The guy is taking poker seriously. He may not be the best, but he watches poker on TV so he thinks he can handle the casino environment. He’s decked out in his finest “cool clothes.” It could be a button down shirt with some graphics on it, could be his most baller T-shirt, the point is he’s peacocking for the night. His significant other however is less than enthused about the entire process. To her poker is just some silly game that’s played in a casino. It’s all just gambling anyway. She sits behind her man and pulls out either her iPhone or iPad and starts playing games and texting friends.
An example of this couple sat down at one of my tables a few weeks ago. Long story short, the gentleman got his money in on the flop with QQ on a 6d5s3s flop. The board ran blank on the turn and a 6 on the river at which point his opponent tabled his 6s4s to win the hand. The guy just chuckled to himself and mucked his hand. Afterwards he turned to his girlfriend and asked her for more money, which made me chuckle a bit. He must have gotten some kind of look from his girl because when he turned back to the table he said, “OK guys, can you please explain to my girl what just happened and why I need to reload? She doesn’t understand poker. She doesn’t understand how unlucky I just got and how I did all I could.” No one took the bait. I seriously doubt the ride home that night was very much fun for him. If you’re going to call out your soul mate at the table, you might want to bring separate cars.
Couple number two is a younger couple. Neither of them is all that experienced at a casino and they are here sharing the moment together. Neither one really wants to wander far from the other because they are so unsure of their surroundings. As a result, they have no concept of personal space with each other. There was one such couple at one of my tables and they were sitting directly to my right. The guy was playing, the girl was watching on the rail. Normally this isn’t really a problem but this woman had three things working against her that pissed me off.
1) She decided to sit directly in between my chair and her boyfriend’s so every time I pushed my chair back to get up from the table it would bang into her chair.
2) After the first time I banged into her chair I looked over at her, she was one of those girls who wasn’t attractive but had that “hot bitch” attitude because she had a man.
3) She kept bouncing her hoof up and down next to me and poking her boyfriend with it.
I was on the tail end of my session anyway so I left without saying anything.
Bottom line, I don’t understand how either the guy or the girl can be enjoying themselves. Guys, at some point it’s ok to have a life outside your relationship. Ladies, your man is considering this “quality time” so don’t be shocked when you want to do something the next day and he says, “We just spent all day yesterday together.” Not all couples are like this either. There are the occasional couples they get it right, and each play poker, at different tables, on different sides of the room, and reconvene 4 hours later to get some food together and talk about their luck. Eh, whatever works I suppose.