Elvis in da House — Then out on the Pavement!

Poker players, they come in more varieties than a tin of Heinz finest. Some are good, some not so good, some rich, most poor, some reclusive and others egotistical.

Indeed, some are simply using poker as a means to fuel their narcissistic tendencies in a way that people, who would like to have a personality but don’t, invariably wear the most disgustingly coloured shirts money can buy in a futile attempt to be recognised as an entertaining character.

Yet others have been known to take this to a different level all together. Take the world’s worst [poker playing] Elvis impersonator who thought it would be novel to take his Elvis costume all the way to Las Vegas.

Now let’s be serious, Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas are not quite as rare as foreskins in a synagogue, but this particular foreskin decided that he would win friends and influence people by entering Binion’s dressed in full Elvis costume, pinch the tournament director’s microphone mid-way through a World Series event and walk the isles between the tables attempting to sing All Shook Up.

However, the casino’s security had no interest in his antics and preformed their own rendition of an Elvis song, Return to Sender, by dispatching our hero out the main door and on to the streets and slapping a ban on him for good measure.

That was not good considering he had $7,000 worth of tournament entries paid for! The poor bloke, he could not even get as far as the cash desk to rightly claim he’s a raving idiot and, at the very best, get a refund on his tournament entry tickets.

A few years on the same character had the good fortune to win a brand new car in a draw at his local casino. There was a snag however, he had to be physically present at the casino when the draw was made and, unfortunately for him, he was busy that evening entertaining the over 70s West Sussex Lawn Bowling Association with more Elvis songs.

Still the lads in the card room showed some class by buying a condolences card which they cleverly stuck a picture of the exact make and model car on to and signed it before handing it over to him.