Going All In With the Fantasy Poker League

It is often assumed that poker and alcohol are two things that shouldn't be mixed. In the casino or at a friendly house game, it isn't uncommon to see someone sipping the occasional beer or mixed drink, but rarely do most people actually drink. Then again, my crew and I are not most people; we are the Crunk Riva Clan, one of the premier squads that play in the Fantasy Poker League. We spell it with a C because we just don't give a damn (and we like symmetry in our acronyms, as in CRC).

About a year ago, my friend Rob started getting big into poker - along with many thousands of other people around the country and the globe. He played at the casino, home games, the Internet, and sometimes even in bars. He used to beg the rest of us to come and play, but it wasn't really our thing. We would rather go to our regular Friday night spot to get sloshed or play some pool. We knew the people who hung out in the club, we knew the owner, and we knew the bartenders - hell, we were the bartenders sometimes. Fortunately for us, we didn't have to go to another bar to play poker. Instead, a few weeks later, the Fantasy Poker League (TFPL) came to our bar on Friday nights. I decided to try playing because I am a competitive individual; that and nobody comes into my bar and tries to take my chips, at least not without a squabble. Rob started playing at our bar, along with our other friends, Sean and Matt.

After learning the basics of hold'em and playing casually in my regular hangout for a few months (and losing regularly), I decided to beef up my strategy. I read Positively Fifth Street, by James McManus, and went to work on my opponents. My three friends were all at various stages in their poker careers. Rob, the original poker kid who had begged us to play, was steadily reaching final tables, but could never seem to clinch a first-place victory. Our friend Matt had played online regularly before entering the bar tournaments and was steadily coming in as high as fifth place. Our other friend Sean was new to poker but had somehow taken several first- and second-place victories.

Throughout it all, we got hammered. Our pregame ritual was a shot of Patron and a Captain Morgan Private Stock with Coke. We were well-buzzed by the time we hit the tables, and the other players knew it. What they did not count on was the ability of a bartender to work his way through a drunken haze and remain competitive. People called me down with foolish hands, thinking I was too drunk to know when I had the nuts and assuming my big bets were steal attempts. They also forgot that when they got drunk, I was a better drunk player than they. Eventually it got to the point where my play was so drunken and erratic, that I was unreadable, a trait shared by the rest of my crew. In addition to this, I reached an intoxication level at which I could remove myself from the idle chitchat and play at the table to tap into some sort of gut instinct, a style of play that I call "Zen drunken poker."

I soon started playing other nights, at other locations within TFPL, gunning for players I didn't like and watching my chips around the rivals. I took down my first tournament victory at a keno joint, relatively faded. That night, I couldn't sleep. I don't know if it was the adrenaline rush that comes from a tournament takedown, or the half dozen Jager-bombs I had consumed during the tournament. Whatever it was, it felt good, and I swore that I and my squad would own the TFPL tournament at our Friday night bar. I decided that for this to happen, we would have to unify under a single banner to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies. We would still try to take each other's chips if we ended up at the same table (which happened a lot), but we would let people know that we showed up together, got blitzed together, and split our bar tab. All for four and four for all - or something. We were drunk and crazy, we hit our river cards frequently, and we had ninja clan skills. The Crunk Riva Clan was born.

That Friday, three out of four of our squad placed at the final table. I knocked out the other two members with pocket pairs, and they brought me a shot of Patron as punishment (or was it reward?). I took down the tournament effortlessly and drunkenly, pissing off countless other players. I then went to the online message board and savagely talked smack to the rest of the league, as well as announcing the official christening of the Crunk Riva Clan. We tore through the league for several months, averaging at least three final-table appearances a week between the four of us, drinking and talking loud the whole time. This sort of behavior isn't allowed in casinos, unless you are a real high roller.

I like the Fantasy Poker League because I can spend $50 in the bar and compete in a large field with several skilled players. If I lose, fine, I can still drink. If I win, fine, I am just that tight. The Fantasy Poker League is also the only poker league I know of that allows me and the CRC to compete in team tournaments against the likes of the All-in Clique (AIC), Team Crown Royal (TCR), and the Name Brand Crew (NBC).

For more information about the Fantasy Poker League, go to http://www.tfpl.net/. TFPL is one of the country's largest "free" poker leagues, playing seven nights a week in Nebraska, Texas, Ohio, Minnesota, and North Dakota, with more locations on the way.

Matt Ronco is a player in the Fantasy Poker League and a part-time writer. Matt has written numerous, hilarious posts on the TFPL League Message Board under the name MotownJ5.