My Birthday Trip

Ever since my girlfriend told me that she had a great idea for my birthday, I knew she was taking me to Foxwoods. And was I ever excited! I was coming off of a two-monthlong poker hiatus, fiending for some action like a full-blown addict. So on April 19, we packed our bags, hopped in the car, and took the trip to my favorite cardroom. It would turn out to be a night of nights.

A few friends accompanied us down, but I was the only one who really wanted to play poker. Everybody else wanted to get drunk and pull on the nickel slots, so I let them. As soon as we checked in to our suite, I bolted for the poker room. They had just opened the new one and I was dying to see it - complete with automatic card shufflers built into the tables. It was awesome!

I didn't want to jump into any high-limit games right away since I knew I'd be playing almost every hand. Turns out they had a seat open in a no-limit game with blinds of $1-$2, so I took it. Only then did I turn around and see Paul Pierce of the Boston Celtics getting a massage directly behind me. Next to him was Big Al Jefferson; next to him, Ryan Gomes. Happy birthday to me. I was starstruck. They were playing the $10-$25 no-limit game, and pretty much all losing. They did look like they were having a good time, though, so I guess that's all that matters.

I raised my very first hand at the table to $15 outright without even looking. I got no callers, so I just mucked faceup. Turns out I had pocket queens. Who would've thought! I continued to raise preflop for the next five or six hands, took down two or three of them with continuation bets on the flop, and before I knew it, I was sitting on a stack of $150 or so. Foxwoods has a $100 maximum buy-in at the $1-$2 no-limit table, but it's pretty much a crapshoot unless you have $200 or more in front of you. So that's what I was aiming for. The first real hand I played was the 8 7. Somebody in middle position raised to $12, the button called, and I called out of the big blind. The flop came 9 6 K - all red, but it gave me an open-end straight draw. I bet out $22, the middle-position player called, and the button folded. The turn was the 10, a perfect card for me. I pushed all in without hesitation, and the middle-position player called immediately with the K Q - good for top pair and a flush draw. I needed to dodge a heart, but I couldn't. The river was the 4, and he had me covered. I reloaded another $100.

For about 15 minutes, I folded everything. When I finally saw an ace, I raised to $13 from under the gun, and the player sitting directly next to me called, while everybody else folded. I had the A 2, and the flop came A K 8. I bet out $25, and after a slight hesitation, my opponent moved all in. He had me covered. Before I could think, I heard myself saying:

"Bold move for a flush draw. Guess I've gotta call."

So I pushed the rest of my chips in the middle and watched him flip over the 10 7. He missed the diamonds, and I raked in about $180 in chips. Happy birthday to me. I suppose this is the right time to mention that I was downing beers left and right, and my play was definitely getting looser and looser, which probably explains my next few plays.

In the cutoff seat, I was dealt the 9 3. The player from under the gun limped in, as did the player next to him. The player in early middle position raised to $15, and there were two callers before it got to me. I immediately moved all in for $180, and everybody folded - including the caller before me who showed 9-9 faceup. I proudly displayed my monster hand and proceeded to berate everybody at the table for being gutless donkeys.

The next hand that I can remember playing was when I was dealt two black deuces in the big blind. A middle-position player raised to $23 preflop, and there were three callers behind him. So I chucked in $21 more and saw a flop. I missed almost completely. It was A 10 9, giving me a draw to a flush, but the worst flush. I had to assume I was drawing almost completely dead given the $23 preflop raise with three callers. I checked. The original bettor threw out $20, and I wasn't sure what to make of it when everybody folded back around to me. I shrugged and called. The turn was a red 6, which didn't help me at all. I checked, and he checked behind. Now the gears started turning. Maybe he had K-K or Q-Q, but I had no idea if I could push him off of it. The river was the 3, giving me the absolute worst flush I could have. I checked once more, and he peeked at his cards, presumably to see if he had a spade.

He looked up, glanced furtively at his chips, and quickly threw out a $25 chip. I immediately moved all in, and he immediately folded. I showed my cards faceup and raked in a pretty large pot. He shook his head in disbelief. Who can blame me? I was drunk as a skunk! My gut told me to do it, so I did. It's definitely a losing play in the long run, but I didn't really care about the long run at that exact moment in time. At that point, I cashed out ahead about $150 and met my friends at the bar in the Hard Rock Cafe. Four more beers later, we headed to the buffet, and three more beers after that, we headed to play slots. I won another $70 at quarter slots, which was super cool. Then, it was back to the bar.

Here's where things start getting hazy. I think I had somewhere between five and 12 rum-and-Cokes. I do remember dancing with someone else's girlfriend, getting hit on by a Cuban guy, and watching one of my new friends at the bar get shut off by the bartender. We left when the bar closed, but I have no idea what time that was. I brought my girlfriend upstairs, stuck her in bed, and headed back down to the poker room. I couldn't even say my own name.

I sat down in the same seat at the same $1-$2 no-limit table. Here's what I do remember. Without looking at my cards, I went all in on my first hand, only to get called by K-K and lose. Then, on a board of K Q 8, I came over the top of a bet and a raise with K-J offsuit, no hearts, only to get called by the nut flush and lose another $100. And then I grossly misplayed the following hand to lose another big pot.

I reloaded to $40, posted my blind, and then reloaded another $100 the next hand to sit on a stack of $138. In the small blind, I was dealt the 8 8 , and called a $25 raise from under the gun along with five other players. The flop was K-8-4 rainbow, I checked, and the original bettor threw out a $10 bet, which everybody, including me, just called. The turn was an offsuit queen. As first to act, I checked, and it was checked around. Oops. The river was a 10, I checked once more, and the original bettor threw out $35. One person called, and I moved all in. Both players called immediately and both showed A-J. They proceeded to split up my money, and I felt like an idiot.

At this point, I guess I blacked out. I must have made it back to my room, because I woke up in my heart boxers, wrapped in a towel, with one of the most wicked hangovers I've ever had. I managed to pull myself out of bed and make it to the bathroom, only to accidentally brush my teeth with hand lotion … on my friend's toothbrush. My clothing was strewn all over the room, from the door to the bed. My empty wallet was still in the pocket of the jeans I wore the night before. I have to admit, though, for the first time in my life, I wasn't angry that I lost money playing cards. It was an incredible trip, I brought home some wacky stories, and had an absolute blast. The ride home was brutal, but the fun night made the pain worth it.

Oh, and if the bartender at the Hard Rock Cafe reads this, I apologize for stealing those four pint glasses, but they were so damn cool.